what can possibly go wrong

no, im fine, really. i thank you for your concern.

there are things that you blog about to remember, and things you blog about to throw out of the window. the entry below was that of the latter. and while i thank you for your concern, nothing that big a deal did happen - can't routine frustration justify a short paragraph of ranting? but i thank you for your concern, really.

just that, i think i will revert back to semi bimbotic entries. pictures of smiling people and the like. or maybe i just don't like how we find out and show concern about each other only through our blogs.

there just is no fucking point. im not expecting anything anymore. though knowing me, this cycle will probably repeat itself. i ain't individualistic enough to say fuck it for long. fuck, it's my fault - i care too much, i involve myself too much. i don't even know why i care so much, when i know the truth, beneath the gallivanting, beneath the jokes and the chilling-out. i don't know why i expect anything, i've known all the way from that start that this is what you get, when you trade sincerity for this. and i thought this was what i wanted. now, i dont know if i want either.

and i think the reason why im all crumbly is because you stated the truth. that there really isn't any single person you can depend on, always. lovers come and go, friends drift in and out of your life, eventually, you are all that you have.

half a world away

dont you want to live in sartorialist-land, baby.

somewhere with four seasons, somewhere where we can sip coffee alfresco along the sidewalk watching hot men in khaki blazers in spring, where we can wear bikins and tan on the grass lawns in summer in the middle of the city, where we can wear trench coats, black stockings in fall and not perspire profusely in the heat, where we can wear boots in winter and not look like a jockeys haha.

oh and this is why i thought z was gay, haha. quite amusing, really.
and with regard to him being submissive... how wrong can they get.

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