when all is said and done

Like all, when all is said and done, the regret is almost immediate.

For you though, not me. I've got no qualms, not at all.

But for you, you've got so much more... baggage. Responsibilies to uphold, people to answer to and your own conscience to face; I've got none of that. I do whatever I please and I don't quite fear repercussions though I know there ineveitably, will always be.

Being the person whom you are, surely you can tell?

Somehow, the words just flowed and I reckon things just spoke for themselves. And all I did, was express a vulgar disbelief, as if I was regretful at all.

Perhaps I was, in the slightest sense. But, as an afterthought, to whom? Didn't we agree that in this world, it's everyone for themselves?

coming up over the pacific

I just abandoned university applications in favour of photoshop.
From last Saturday, where we lay, giggling, covered in layers of oil, on the sand humming Gwen Stefani songs. I like the change, from smoke-filled air to sea-salt laden wind; don't you? ( :

love sweet love, sorta

To realise, that among all those official emails and spam was one that started with "RUI RUI! SURPRISE!! : )" was pure uplifting joy. And the gem who dropped me the sweet surprise, KOHWEENGEE love, sweet love to you babe!

* * *

On a completely different note,
If I dreamt of you, you, you and ___ last night, did the yous dream of me?
I don't mean concurrently (the coincidence would have been scary), but... ever?

On togetherness:
Of course it is such!
What else were you expecting, Rui? Tsk.

i'll take you to the candy shop

Because I'm such a show-off... Haha.
From a month odd ago ( :

keeping our summer alive

at sentosa last saturday ( :

engine, engine number 9

A whirlwind week it has been, really.
I've seen so much of some, yet so little of some others :It really has been too fast, too furious, and too frivolous, but to summarise,

I have...

1. attempted to send/sent in applications
   (singpost please be cooperative so that at least i'll have a chance at some of that moolah and so i don't waste the effort i spent writing the essays)
2. got called in to write essays
   (WTF power without morality is destructive and dangerous)
3. got emails to go down to do a psychometric test next week with 67986341842 (please save me) tiny ovals to shade
4. danced till my toes were on fire at mos and phuture
   (it has been LONG since we all let go like this)
5. got hypontised by rnb, dazzled by a ceiling full of silvery disco balls
6. fallen asleep while tanning at Sentosa (gold ring tan!)
7. re-eastablished a friendship with THE GUY BESTIE haha amidst frantic marking (for me) and mugging (for him)
8. watched The Dorm and was sufficiently touched by the story line (haha it was a scary flick wth)
9. confirmed that there's a dressing style on guys that I like/can accept
10. bought 4 pairs of earrings when its tees I need !
11. spent a night at kgardens belting out songs of the widest variety over (omg chinese oldies-english sentimental hits-club hits)
12. spent too much money! Balance of payments not working out :\

Photos will be up soon! ( : And I've got a new found love - brackets. Sheesh they're embarassingly ungrammatical and bimbotic but so convenient. Can you not tell?

* * *

It really doesn't get any much funnier than this -
a tattoo shop with a website!
The name, ANGKONGTIAM DOT COM, HAHA!

all the things you do

For a moment, all I did was pace around my house, head cocked to one side, hand ruffling through my hair almost frantically and feel my abs tighten with that weird feeling in my stomach. Not exactly flutter, just... weird.

But all's fine ( : And I think I'm glad it turned out this way, though ha, it is always too early to say.

mad mad rush

To complete tonnes of applications to kind (please!) airlines and tourism boards and stat boards and the like to give me some cash so that off we'll fly to the uk where we'll study in ancient castles bordered by green green grass near the bright lights and high street fashion of london, where we'll pour over thick books in the central library with gorgeous arched stained-glass windows not unlike harry and hermione, where we'll sip coffee al fresco opposite a french beau by the cobblestone paths winding uphill during summer vacation...

Okay not quite.

But it has been a mad mad rush, and will continue to be as more deadlines loom! But tonight we're going to mambo and tomorrow we're going to tan, blade and go for dance lessons ( : before we come back to continue those dreadful essays, that is. Oh, I just remembered I still have approximately 300 geography scripts to mark before school reopens on tuesday. Like, yay.

But work hard dear girl, so much is at stake here.

And not to mention, we are so damn bloody near.

On a side note, I've never had so many mosquito bites before.

Nette, you'll have to agree that I win hands down. Baah!

we belong together!

Qing { quiet nights of quiet stars } says:
hey ruizi. let's just enjoy lah. fuck all the complexities.
fuck forever bcos if nobody's gonna guarantee us forever, then we dun guarantee anybody forever lah

now you're spinning in the deep says:
haha YES ( : love love.
we finally understand !

now you're spinning in the deep says:
let me partake in your happiness !

Qing { quiet nights of quiet stars } says:
ey i wanna partake in ur happiness too lah
ok i'm really feeling all the love now I LOVE YOU

Qing { quiet nights of quiet stars } says:
i really want all three of us to be happy with our lives too.

edited for succinctness.
but the love, more than words can say, gems.

candy floss and rainbows

Yes welcome. FOUR(!) years of writing gone and we're off to a new beginning ( : This shall be the start of beautiful things to come!

Such determination huh. But we'll try anyway, won't we? Because Lynn says if the year starts off well, the then rest of the year will follow suit. I have a good feeling about this already ( :

SN Fiesta on Saturday with the girls!

Totally different faces as '03, but really, the same vibe. The very same one that stops me from spewing spiteful statements of "everything has hanged ever since we left", because it hasn't, not when you walk around school the day before the fiesta and you see all these girls in their colourful class tees running around carrying boxes and painting banners and setting up stalls and persuading everyone to come to their stall, just like how we used to ( :

Of course it ain't perfect, but surely there's something magical going on in there, no?

ripped from al ( : you know the love's mutual.

in the deep

Thought you had
all the answers
to rest your heart upon.
But something happens,
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself.
Now you're out there swimming...
In the deep.
In the deep.

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you... Let go.
Till you shed your pride,
and you climb to heaven,
and you throw yourself off.
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.

// Bird York. In the Deep.